"I hated God for a long time."
There comes a point in your life when everything is upside down and
you're disappointed... so you start blaming God for it. There are so many things you do not understand about this
world, so you might think that God hates us all. But the question is:
why? What have we done? Let's see...
First of all,
there is no saint living among us, and most of the "saints" had a
pretty shady past. Let's take Saint Paul the Apostle, for example: he
was a Hebrew born in Tarsus with the name of Saul, who zealously
persecuted the early followers of Jesus (Acts
8). But on the
road to Damascus, he has the chance to meet the real Jesus, gets blinded and
healed three days later. After this encounter, he will be known as Paul,
Apostle to the nations and spends his life preaching Jesus's return (to the
nations), and dies as martyr around the year 67 ad. Or let’s think about Moses,
who killed a man 40 years before becoming the leader of the Hebrews.
God forgives and forgets all sins, but let's the consequences follow their
course, because He is good and right. But there are some sins which God can't
forgive and those are the ones that remain withheld, unconfessed. Even
though He knows everything you did, if you want to be saved and free again, you
have to tell Him what you did and repent for your sin (never do it
again).
We normally hate or ignore the things that we cannot understand. "There
has to be a meaning for all this... but for some reason, God is keeping it out
of sight." We made all the possible screw ups, we made some of
the worst decisions, we got lost, standing on the edge of desperation... There,
God came to us, took us by the hand and said: "Let's
sit down for a bit." So you're there, having a chat with God
about your ups and downs, about your reasons for desperation and He asks you: "Why now? Why you had to wait so long to have this
conversation? It would've been easier for both of us if we would have
talked before engaging in this wicked journey."
You cry...God doesn't hate you, but He just lets you decide what is best for
yourself. Even if you're blind or badly injured, after all, He is God and He
can change everything. You should do what Jesus did in Gethsemane: pray for
something easier and if that's not possible, than... “Abba, Father, all
things are possible for YOU. Take this cup away from ME;
nevertheless, not what I will, but what YOU will.” (Mark
14:36)
