marți, ianuarie 26, 2016


I still haven't read a relationship's book that tells the truth about how awesomely awkward are the first days of the possible future-to-be-couple.

Before he/she can gain your trust and become "yours", you have to really-really-really want to share your time and thoughts with him/her. Of course there are major differences between you two! Or course you know nothing wbout him/her! Of course she drives you crazy every time she's late! Of course you have every right to be upset when he ignores your calls and messages. Of course she drives you crazy when she complaints about money!... But you have to ignore all or find some work-arounds if you want to be with her on long term. Keep in mind that what you tolerate now, later you will hate. Better learn to accept him/her as he/she is and don't spend your " powers" trying to change him/her.

My father used to say to say:
If you don't know, I'll teach you.
If you can't, I'll help you.
If you don't want to, I'll make you!
Last one doesn't really apply to relationships, because no one should be stubborn.

What makes you more disappointed: the knowledge you have about her or she not being able to meet expectations?
Imagine standing in front of a door you've never seen before, just about to go into someone's home. Keep in mind you know nothing about this house or person living inside. Using your senses (smell, light, design, textures) you start imagining what's inside the house and you start having expectations about the place. Once you open the door, knowledge and experience start: you discover the hallway with his objects and colours and a first expectations are met or you're disappointed. In the dining room you are told that dinner will be served shortly, so you start imagining the menu, along with tastes, smells and food textures, along with how it should look. Food arrives, expectations are meet, knowledge is strong, so the experience is good.
Knowledge can't disappoint, only expectations can.

Are you "partner" material?
Why do you need a relationship?
Why you want to have a family?
Why you want to have kids?

Choose wisely!

sâmbătă, ianuarie 23, 2016

About Beginnings

In almost 30 years of living you get to see a lot of stuff, good or bad, incredible or dull, and you get to know a lot of people with real/raw or fake attitude. I’m not perfect, but one can only hope to find perfection in imperfection.

I wrote a lot about endings and the drama of a terminated relationship, so I guess it’s time for me to write something about the stress behind a new love beginning.

Sometimes we feel suffocated by previous relationships and we're left almost dead inside. So we need something fresh, something to cheer us up, something that will get us out of that past-haunted place we’re in. If love is a sad time, it's because we’re scared of being left alone with our bad decisions... So what should we do? Build new bridges.

It makes my stomach twist when people still believing in love-fairy-tales. Sometimes reading too much love stories and relationship books can distort your vision about reality and make you fantasize more than you should. A couple is made by two imperfect persons, two unknown variables that become stable and known once they're together.

Every new relationship should be about milk and honey, and should bring you to a state of happiness and calm that you didn’t have before. You and your partner should be like two magnets, attracted by the differences in each other, and when joined together, you should become ONE small group, strong, inseparable, a perfect team.

Before getting in relationship with that girl or guy, you should feel happy and accomplished without feeling the desperate need to share the bed or life with someone else. You shouldn't feel incomplete just because you're scared of being alone. If you don't get to taste happiness while being single, you shouldn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone. You'll never be happy in couple if you don't know how to be happy by yourself. Unless you are a dependent person and lack in character, needy and broken. When single, others feel attracted by the joy you have, by what you stand for and this makes them wanting to partner you. This is a lesson learnt the hard way. And now I know that time&life throw at you different events, make you go through hell, so you have to keep going! But not everyone goes through the same things as you did, as not everyone learns the same way, even though the outcome of the lesson might be the same in the end. Makes sense?

I can’t have a relationship with a girl that I don’t feel attracted mentally and physically. Feels wrong to be involved with someone that doesn't make me ask for MORE!

We might be the right one for each other, but if the time is bad, there’s no purpose on waiting for better times. She might be an emotional wreck and say: "You are good with me and I like you a lot, but you’ve met me in the darkest time of my life. I can’t tell you to wait for me. I can’t blame you if leaving is the best choice for you, but I can ask you to stay and try." Will you do it?  Will you wait to make herself available for you? If she puts you aside and tells you to go baby steps and so that she can convince yourself from distance you worth the trouble, is it because she's probably been too far, too quickly in previous relationships?
He might say this to you: "I like you a lot. I fell you are my soul mate. Please wait for me to find the strength to end the relationship that I'm in right now and we will be together after. I have very big problems with her and even more with her family, so I can't wait for this to finish!" Will you stay in his queue?

If you have a long distance relationship, be prepared to paint a picture in your head about your partner that will be different from what he really is. I have experience in this subject so you can take my word for it. And when together, you will feel the need to communicate in writing or to close your eyes, as if you were calling him...

If everything in your life is unstable, then look for something stable before destroying the life of your possible-future-to-be-partner. Or perhaps, your partner is the only stable thing  around you to grab on. Emotional stability and clean mind. This is a divine grace!
If you are not ready for a relationship, then why are you even knocking on my door if you can’t enter?

Usually things that I get enthusiastic for, end up on being a disappointment. When you have tried almost every possible option, you know what works and what doesn't. Follow the rules and avoid what you don't need. It's like driving: if you keep the speed limit, you will get to the end of your trip. If to slow, you might get distracted by the surroundings and stop along the way. If you drive too fast, you might die, for not being able to stop in time in case of an emergency.

Think more, shut up more, do more and pray hard!

Can we be a team playing against the world and win? I think we can, as long as Jesus Christ is our team manager/coach.

marți, ianuarie 12, 2016

About today and tomorrow

In the recent years, the quality of life has become more and more unacceptable. Values became undesirable and we're behaving like there is no tomorrow. And this is just the begining; there are far worse things to happen in the future years.

Here's my view on few of today's agenda:
•homosexuality: even though I understand "why" and "how", I don't like the "game." So very often I discover wonderful and amazing people in this game, but I still think that what they're doing is unnatural. Please stop being so aggressive in your progay campaigns!

•feminism: as a friend of mine said: "Feminism, just another way to tear apart people". A woman is as equal as a men and should be treated accordingly. We're different, otherwise all of us would be just men or just women. Imagine a company: all people are equal, but playing different parts, with different roles and responsibilities. Equals, but not the same;

•muslims: real Muslims are wonderful people, respectful and with great love for Allah. What I like about them, and the jews, is that they're helpful with each other, and you will never see on of them starving in their community.

-ISIS: I doubt they're muslims, and I think with them is more about politics than religion. They're just hiding behind the Quran, claiming they're doing the will of Allah by claiming the lives of the "infidels". It's too mainstream to be real. Remember Al-Qaida? Same story, different players.

Because many of you wanted my oppinion on the events to come, here it is:
All this events with ISIS (and whatever other radical-religious group will follow) will lead the people if this Earth to hate religion and what it stands for. There will come a Christian Church with the idea of showing to the World what religion really is and will make a call for all the christian churces and all other religions willing to gather as one against the terror caused by non-believers (radical-muslims and the rest). Even the atheist will become members of this global "family." This religious union will be probably lead by the Catholic church, since they're the biggest Christian group.

This union will come with a set of "common-sense" rules that will separate the good ones from the bad ones. This will be just a cover-up to get the world united as one and to manipulate them easier. If you're not part of this group, your life will be a living hell: you will have no access to jobs, food or accommodation, you will be hated and despised by everybody, and you will easily be subject for "random" police checks, you will be hunted, incarcerated, beaten and after a while, there will be a death sentence on you. Do you remember how the Nazis hunted the Jews with their Gestapo police? This time will be hundred times worse.

Also keep in mind that books are becoming more and more electronic, and hardcopies will eventually become unavailable. This way will be easier to control "what is written!" If you want a book to vanish, a virus will do the trick.
During this process and time, every human in the world will have heard about Jesus Christ. Each one will have to decide with whom he/she stands. This global union will serve a common purpose, will have a common belief and will cast a shadow over those who disagree with it.

There will be no more love for the one next to you, there will only be doubt and fear, people fearing for their "safety" and most of all, there will be no more faith. Religion will become tabu and those who will dare to go to church on a different day or will follow some principles different than what the union decided, will automatically be seen as radicals/infidels and will become one of the "NO" group; even though they're technically better than all the rest. You will become a threat for the society just because you decide to have your Saturdays off, or if you don't eat pork, people at shops will see what food you're buying and start asking you: "Are you a radical believer?" and you might not be able to buy anything. Maybe they will call the police too. And maybe you will lose your job for that, and you won't have money for rent/mortgage. And your kids will need food on the table, and bills will need to be paid, so you'll become desperate enough to compromise. This will be the hardest test ever: faith or life.

God is just, good and great. We should trust Him and He will provide. Be ready and keep going!

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