Clapham

David, sorry I'm late.

Hi Drew! No worries.
Come, give me a hug.
Ah! Feels so good to rest on your shoulder.

Oh my God! How long has it been?

7 years.

7 years?! That's like forever!

I knooow! Good to have you back!

I've missed you soo much!

I've missed you too! How have you been?

Oh, there is so much to share!
Let's go to Costa and talk.

What coffee should I get?
I usually get Latte from here, because I like my coffee strong and with milk.
The white juice.
Haha! Funny guy. Stop it!
How's your sister? I haven't seen here since after the divorce. Is she still with that guy?
She's ok, but she's not with that guy anymore. I have a niece from them, a beautiful curly-hair-blue-eyes 3 years old girl. The apple of my eyes! She's the reason I still talk to my sister.
Oh my! She had a child?
Yup.
She told me that she never wants to have children, because she will be an awful mom.
Yeah, she is awful.
I'm sorry to hear that... Can I meet her?
Of course you can! She's living with me now, because Maria moved to Switzerland last winter to be with her "hubby" and abandoned Sara here. I'm actually claiming custody for her in court.
Sara, what a beautiful name!
Thank you. Picked it up myself, because Maria didn't really wanted her... I'm glad she's now with me.
So what you've been up to? What happened to that norvegian girl you were dating?
Franca? We got married in 2011 and divorced 4 years later.
Don't tell me she cheated too!
Wasn't like that, it wasn't like you and Maria. One Saturday morning she told me that she doesn't want to be married anymore because she wants to focus more on her carrier, so she packed all her stuff and left same day. Last time I've heard from here, she was in Sweden working in corporate HR. Drew, sorry to ask you, but how and why did you become gay?
Ha! Long story, but I'll try to make it short.
If you don't want to share, I'm not pushing it.
That's fine. Well... after Maria's cheating stories, I've become depressed because I couldn't understand what I've done wrong and why wasn't she happy with me. Only now I know it wasn't my fault. I had suicidal thoughts. Actually, that's why I went Thailand: to party hard and to end my life with drugs and booze on one of the islands. In Pattaya I've met this swingers couple from the States. Both of them were bisexual, thing that I've realised one night, on a small group sex, when I was drunk and on pills, and I've seen his head between my legs, instead of his wife's. It was the best bj of my life! It felt unbelievably good. So things go interesting from there, I've become more interested in having sex with men, because every experience felt like a fight for supremacy. With a woman you know where is going, she will surrender to you, but with a man is more spontaneous and I feel more involved.
Wow! I mean... WOW! Please don't share more details.
I won't. I'll behave.
When did you come back?
From there? In late 2010, but then moved to LA for couple of years.
The City of Angels...
It's full of angels! What memories... Had to go so I've returned here and I lived in North Clapham for three years and never had an issue with finding a local sexual partner. Too bad none of them turned into long term...
So no thoughts on rebecoming straight.
I am bisexual, I love having threesomes with married couples. But if I ever again turn straight, I'm scared that never a girl would be able to understand me and the things that I've gone through. Once I will start telling her about my past, she will reject me and judge my behaviour. I don't want that! I don't want rejection! I've been rejected all my life! A man can understand me better than any woman does.

I'm crying on the inside knowing that you're somehow right. Most girls are judgemental and lack in compassion and divine grace. With them you have to go baby steps. I can share a fair amount of personal experiences where girls just didn't have the mental capacity to process me and my ideas. It's difficult for me to have a long term relationship.

That's because you're a filthy pig! Haha! It's your fault.

Of course that's why! But leaving the joke aside, I hope you will realise that your gayness will have to end soon so you can discover again the wonders of women and have your own kids and family.
As you did!
Don't take me as an example, but now I'm trying to build a friendship based relationship with an amazing women that I've met couple of months ago. First three dates have been amazing, no sex involved. We just talked for hours and hours and it was a very good chemistry between us.
I'm so happy for you! But please be aware that if you open up to her too quickly, things will go south.
I'm hoping it will not, but anything can happen. Including you becoming straight again.
Haha! We'll see.
I've might've done something stupid when I told her that I want a long term relationship and if everything is right, sooner or later we will get married.
What?!?
Man, if she can process that the right way, she will see that I don't want to fool around anymore and I can offer stability.
When did you tell her that?
We where out, next to the Tower of London, one night when we walked passed it, we stopped and started talking. So I've opened up to her and she was shocked. After that we went to a piano concert...
Oh David, David! She might understand you're desperate into getting married or something.
No way! You know I'm not desperate. I can't afford to be desperate, because I have a child to raise and she is my priority. I've been married once and I know what I want and that I don't. I know what to do and what to do not. But I just don't have the patience to wait anymore... not because I'm desperate or anxious to get into a long term relationship, but because I don't want to waste time.

David, David, David! You're too good for her. She will break your heart. Please be careful, because I've been burned soo many times.
I know and I'm sorry...
David, it takes time to know someone.
Of course, but why not doing it while you're with that someone? Why wait years and years to grow a relationship while being still having the "single" status, when you can save time by doing that meanwhile you're with the one you're interested in?
Uhm... I think that once you've taken the decision to be with someone, you should spend more and more time together in order to discover each other.
Exactly! It's like with a job: you go to couple of interviews to the companies you want to work for, and then one becomes more interested in you. After more interview there, a decision is made to give you a trial and see how you work, if you like them and so on. So once the decision is taken and you agreed on term, you are officially an employee of that company and you try together to make money. You both share a purpose, a cause, a schedule, you share opinions, and if you or they discover that you're not fit for each other, you split in good terms and life goes on.
Hahaha! That's a funny ways to say it, but it's true.

Drew, why is it so complicated?
It's not, but we complicate it, because we don't like it to be simple. If it's to simple or too easy, we feel like there's no purpose to fight for.
Because we still believe in fairy tales, when in reality, life is about the who takes better advantage from what it has.
True story. And what you'll do next if she fails?
Like always: I'm gonna move on.
Of course, but there's always a one more try... Remember?
Uh! I remember telling you that 10 years ago. Now I don't believe it like I used to.