About Beginnings

In almost 30 years of living you get to see a lot of stuff, good or bad, incredible or dull, and you get to know a lot of people with real/raw or fake attitude. I’m not perfect, but one can only hope to find perfection in imperfection.

I wrote a lot about endings and the drama of a terminated relationship, so I guess it’s time for me to write something about the stress behind a new love beginning.

Sometimes we feel suffocated by previous relationships and we're left almost dead inside. So we need something fresh, something to cheer us up, something that will get us out of that past-haunted place we’re in. If love is a sad time, it's because we’re scared of being left alone with our bad decisions... So what should we do? Build new bridges.

It makes my stomach twist when people still believing in love-fairy-tales. Sometimes reading too much love stories and relationship books can distort your vision about reality and make you fantasize more than you should. A couple is made by two imperfect persons, two unknown variables that become stable and known once they're together.

Every new relationship should be about milk and honey, and should bring you to a state of happiness and calm that you didn’t have before. You and your partner should be like two magnets, attracted by the differences in each other, and when joined together, you should become ONE small group, strong, inseparable, a perfect team.

Before getting in relationship with that girl or guy, you should feel happy and accomplished without feeling the desperate need to share the bed or life with someone else. You shouldn't feel incomplete just because you're scared of being alone. If you don't get to taste happiness while being single, you shouldn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone. You'll never be happy in couple if you don't know how to be happy by yourself. Unless you are a dependent person and lack in character, needy and broken. When single, others feel attracted by the joy you have, by what you stand for and this makes them wanting to partner you. This is a lesson learnt the hard way. And now I know that time&life throw at you different events, make you go through hell, so you have to keep going! But not everyone goes through the same things as you did, as not everyone learns the same way, even though the outcome of the lesson might be the same in the end. Makes sense?

I can’t have a relationship with a girl that I don’t feel attracted mentally and physically. Feels wrong to be involved with someone that doesn't make me ask for MORE!

We might be the right one for each other, but if the time is bad, there’s no purpose on waiting for better times. She might be an emotional wreck and say: "You are good with me and I like you a lot, but you’ve met me in the darkest time of my life. I can’t tell you to wait for me. I can’t blame you if leaving is the best choice for you, but I can ask you to stay and try." Will you do it?  Will you wait to make herself available for you? If she puts you aside and tells you to go baby steps and so that she can convince yourself from distance you worth the trouble, is it because she's probably been too far, too quickly in previous relationships?

He might say this to you: "I like you a lot. I fell you are my soul mate. Please wait for me to find the strength to end the relationship that I'm in right now and we will be together after. I have very big problems with her and even more with her family, so I can't wait for this to finish!" Will you stay in his queue?

If you have a long distance relationship, be prepared to paint a picture in your head about your partner that will be different from what he really is. I have experience in this subject so you can take my word for it. And when together, you will feel the need to communicate in writing or to close your eyes, as if you were calling him...

If everything in your life is unstable, then look for something stable before destroying the life of your possible-future-to-be-partner. Or perhaps, your partner is the only stable thing  around you to grab on. Emotional stability and clean mind. This is a divine grace!

If you are not ready for a relationship, then why are you even knocking on my door if you can’t enter?

Usually things that I get enthusiastic for, end up on being a disappointment. When you have tried almost every possible option, you know what works and what doesn't. Follow the rules and avoid what you don't need. It's like driving: if you keep the speed limit, you will get to the end of your trip. If to slow, you might get distracted by the surroundings and stop along the way. If you drive too fast, you might die, for not being able to stop in time in case of an emergency.

Think more, shut up more, do more and pray hard!

Can we be a team playing against the world and win? I think we can, as long as Jesus Christ is our team manager/coach.