marți, ianuarie 26, 2016

Differences

I still haven't read a relationship's book that tells the truth about how awesomely awkward are the first days of the possible future-to-be-couple.

Before he/she can gain your trust and become "yours", you have to really-really-really want to share your time and thoughts with him/her. Of course there are major differences between you two! Or course you know nothing wbout him/her! Of course she drives you crazy every time she's late! Of course you have every right to be upset when he ignores your calls and messages. Of course she drives you crazy when she complaints about money!... But you have to ignore all or find some work-arounds if you want to be with her on long term. Keep in mind that what you tolerate now, later you will hate. Better learn to accept him/her as he/she is and don't spend your " powers" trying to change him/her.

My father used to say to say:
If you don't know, I'll teach you.
If you can't, I'll help you.
If you don't want to, I'll make you!
Last one doesn't really apply to relationships, because no one should be stubborn.

What makes you more disappointed: the knowledge you have about her or she not being able to meet expectations?
Imagine standing in front of a door you've never seen before, just about to go into someone's home. Keep in mind you know nothing about this house or person living inside. Using your senses (smell, light, design, textures) you start imagining what's inside the house and you start having expectations about the place. Once you open the door, knowledge and experience start: you discover the hallway with his objects and colours and a first expectations are met or you're disappointed. In the dining room you are told that dinner will be served shortly, so you start imagining the menu, along with tastes, smells and food textures, along with how it should look. Food arrives, expectations are meet, knowledge is strong, so the experience is good.
Knowledge can't disappoint, only expectations can.

Are you "partner" material?
Why do you need a relationship?
Why you want to have a family?
Why you want to have kids?

Choose wisely!

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